deal.II is a state-of-the-art finite element library focused on generality, dimension-independent programming, parallelism, and extensibility. Herein, we outline its primary design considerations and its sophisticated features such as distributed meshes, hp-adaptivity, support for complex geometries, and matrix-free algorithms. But deal.II is more than just a software library: It is also a diverse and worldwide community of developers and users, as well as an educational platform. We therefore also discuss some of the technical and social challenges and lessons learned in running a large community software project over the course of two decades.